


Heading West

by Cinderella1181



Series: Faith [4]
Category: British Actor RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-14
Updated: 2015-06-14
Packaged: 2018-04-04 07:58:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4130404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cinderella1181/pseuds/Cinderella1181
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tom is heading west towards Canada, and Tobias can’t shake this feeling in the pit of his stomach. He just wants to enjoy his last few moments with Tom, and not give in to this nagging feeling.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heading West

Tobias looked at Tom, lying next to him, still asleep. They had four hours until his flight. He wanted desperately to wake him up. But he wasn’t sure he could do that. Tobias knew this was going to be the first real test in their relationship. Tom was off to film and he would be staying back in London. 

“I know you're just watching me sleep.” Tom finally said, eyes still closed. 

“You know you're evil.” Tobias chuckled. 

“I know.” Tom grinned, opening his eyes. 

Tobias put his head in his hand, looking down at Tom. “I can’t believe you have to go to Canada. What is that? Is it even a real place?” 

Tom laughed. “It is. I’ve been there before. It’s quite lovely.” He reached one of his hands up and pushed some of Tobias’ hair from his face. “It won’t be all that bad, I’ll have a chance to get home at least once. And there will be a few days between that and High Rise starting, and I will have more access to coming home then.” Tom grinned up at him, his hand moving to the side of Tobias's face and running a finger over his lips. “And it will be easier for you to come and see me in Ireland too.”

Tobias kissed the heel of Tom’s hand, sighing. “If I can get away from Mark; when I agreed to go and work for him, I never expected it to be quite the job.” 

“You are going to love it and Ian is going to love you. They are so going to adopt you as their child, I can see it now. Ian will be knitting you a jumper before long. He gets very motherly.” Tom grinned, pulling Tobias towards him. “You’ll be their tall, thin, bespectacled adopted child. I can imagine the texts from him now.”

“Oh you can?” Tobias grinned, kissing him. 

“I can.” Tom replied, kissing him back, pinning Tobias to the bed. 

Tobias gazed up at him, up at those big beautiful eyes looking down at him and turned his head away, cursing himself as he felt the tears well in his eyes. He knew he shouldn’t feel like this, he knew he shouldn’t be this needy, but that was exactly how he was feeling. 

“Are you crying?” Tom’s voice asked, soft, gentle and near his ear. 

Tobias nodded. He couldn’t bring himself to reply, he just took his hand and wiped the tears away. “ ‘S hard.” He managed to get out. 

Tom had settled himself on Tobias, his weight pressing him into the bed but not crushing him, his arms encircling him. Tom kissed him gently, running his hands through his hair, kissing tears away. “I know you think I am going to go, and forget about you, or meet someone else. I know you think this whole thing is some kind of dream. But I can tell you right now Tobias, that my love for you is strong. And this distance is going to be hard even on me, and I may not be showing it now, but I am gutted. I can assure you on the flight to Toronto, I will be, in fact, a wreck.”

Tobias looked back at him. “You lie.”

“I do not.” Tom whispered and leaned in and kissed him. “I love you, so much, you are not going to get rid of me that easily.”

Tobias half smiled, burying his head into Tom’s neck. “You really have grown on me like a fungus.” 

“A sexy fungus I hope.” Tom grinned at him. 

“Oh god, you and the sexy all the time.” Tobias said rolling his eyes. “You know there are people out there in the big wide world who don’t think you're attractive.” 

“Name five.” Tom said. 

“Because I know every person in the world. You’re unreasonable.” Tobias laughed and shook his head. “Now you’re just trying to get me to laugh and it won’t work. I still feel awful about you leaving me. I know I shouldn’t, we should be able to do things apart, but I do, I feel terrible.”

Tom rolled back to the side of him, kissing tears, lips and neck as he went. Tobias rolled into him and settled in, holding on to him. “I know you do, and this is going to be very cyclical if I tell you how I feel terrible about you feeling terrible then you feel terrible about me feeling terrible that you feel terrible, and it will simply go on and on.” He ran his hand up and down his back.

“I like going on and on, especially if it means it is punctuated by kisses.” Tobias said. 

“It’s all punctuated by kisses.” Tom grinned, kissing him again, his hand sliding down Tobias’ stomach. “And maybe something else.”

“You’re insatiable.” Tobias shook his head. “You have to get up, have a shower, eat and we still have to get across town to Gatewick, plus, your mum will be here in what is now…” He looked at the clock on the bedside table. “A little less than an hour and a half, you do not, and I repeat, do not have time to have your merry way with me Mr. Hiddleston.”

“I can speed up if there is a time constraint.” Tom said, his hand grazing at Tobias’ navel. 

Tobias took a sharp breath in. “You are mad. No, let the memory of last night get us through the next, however long we have until we can see each other again.” 

Tom stilled his hand on his stomach and looked at him. “Your just doing this to be cruel aren’t you?” 

“Possibly, but really, I just don’t want to be in the middle of doing something and your mum come in and catch us.” He looked at him. “And you are Mr. I’m - All – About – The – Foreplay.”

Tom laughed, nodding a little and sitting up and swinging his legs over the side. “That I am.” He turned his body a little and looked back at Tobias and touched him in the middle of the chest. “Are you going to join me in the shower, love?”

“No I am not. I am going to start coffee, I am going to take my morning meds, and I am going to finish your packing. Then when you’re done you can run out and get pastry. I will shower then and have a very good cry.” Tobias said. “We will then rejoin up, and enjoy our last few moments together.”

Tom nodded and leaned down kissing him one last time. “Okay. I love you Tobias, just remember that, nothing is going to change that. No matter what you think, there is not going to be someone else who comes in to my life while I gone. It is only going to be you.”

“I know. It just doesn’t mean that, I can’t feel that this, you being gone is going to change everything.” Tobias said quietly. 

“It’s going to change nothing. Nothing will ever make me love you any less.” Tom said. 

“I hope what you say is true.” Tobias replied. “I hope so. I am sorry I am so terrible at this.” 

“You’re not terrible, you’re in love with a pretty amazing guy.” Tom grinned, looking down at Tobias. 

Tobias shook his head. “Go get in the shower.” He grabbed the pillow next to him and hit Tom with it.

Tom laughed, getting up and going into to the bathroom. Tobias turned onto his side and watched the door for a moment. There was something about all this that he didn’t love, that didn’t settle well in his chest, but he knew it was just new relationship jitters. He trusted and loved Tom. He just wished there was a different way this could happen. 

Tobias wasn’t sure that he was built to handle this. He wasn’t sure he was made to watch the man he loved go in and out of his life. Would it always be like this? Or would there be long periods of time when he would be home and they would get to be a real couple? Would those times sustain him? 

Tobias finally sat up in bed and massaged the back of his legs, and dug around for pants. He slipped them on, and with the support of the wall got them all the way up, before grabbing his crutch. 

He had too much to think about and he wanted nothing more than to be in the moment with Tom until he left. He sighed, heading down the stairs to start the coffee and hopefully think of happier things.


End file.
